from Kildare
Synopsis of KILDARE
(Motley sketch of everything that has never been believed):
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Sheila is a talk show hostess whose luster can't make up for her
crummy sense of timing. Nonetheless worshipped, full of karma,
ambitions, and cash, she sallies forth in quest of past lives during the
course of minor surgery (a mere routine procedure), while under the
influence of a local (anesthetic).
From an Arcadian operating scenario Sheila's consciousness spins
back through a series of past lives (mostly her own) in the guise (not
in chronological order) of a petty thief, Benedictine (captured by
pirates), "All Gums" Evelyn, Tinkerbell (down home),
Homecoming Queen, a contortionist, Herself - but zapped to Mars,
and other girl champion archetypes.
After a brief interview, soul search, reminiscences, and Time Trip (a
stroll down involuntary memory lane), Sheila stumbles at length upon
the real New Age (future and post-nuclear) where, incarnated as
Carmen, she takes a central part (that of Good) in a struggle against
the crazy Doctor Kildare, right in the midst of his gamble for universal
(what remains of it) leadership. Due to shape-shifting, an equivocating
slave, and other set-backs, the duel ends in a draw (though Sheila
maintains an upper hand). Kildare is dissolved (or is he?).
Finally, in any case, in a triumphal cross of bliss with unemployment,
in the spirit(s) of beating and joining both, Sheila merges with the
(putrid, stinking) half-life of the still moldering Kildare, giving rise
(before it's too late) to a prodigious chorus of somewhat interchange-
able (36 - 24 - 36) nurses who, along with their ever-faithful servant-
breeder Klink, make off to the pastoral eternity of laughing gas.
(Trumpets.)
Character Equivalents (Dramatis Personae)
Sheila: Kildare: Slave:
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a.k.a. (a petty thief) Franky/ Johnny Vacant Kid
Benedictine (pirates' captive) Warden KLINK
"All Gums" Evelyn His "Majesty" Woodsman
Tinkerbell Ecoman
Homecoming Queen Lady Murasaki
Contortionist Doc
Herself, dumped on Mars
CARMEN
Nurse Chorus
Nurse Sorceresses (1 & 2)
Assorted Other Characters (Mostly Sheila's relatives or rescuers
or Sheila herself, in some harder-to-pin-down incarnation.)
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Soba
Troll ("Savant")
Blue Cousins
Edrin
Mutants
The Invisible
THE CAMEO APPEARANCE BY A TALK
SHOW HOSTESS (AND HER PAST LIVES)
SHEILA Interviewed
Sheila: Johnny and me, we go . . .
A Mouth. -Mud -
Resulting when teddy bear claws
inflammation
Frank sighs --
. . . to dream of entry in two spots at once, in a many-tried
method grasp
sucking (or licks) as Attractive
and simple
Franky -- Frank
Franky -- Frank
Franky
with slapping
and both sides wet, now testing one
-toothed.
Sheila's Feelings Beyond
First, a tickling thru needles
(over 40, monstrous)
ramped around the throat and then down, down
where fingers punch through for breath
in eddying recesses
His: inhumanly quick from desperation
Hers: inhumanly quick every time
And, suddenly, she couldn't breathe (old beams the afternoon;
a ceiling caves) Granted: bad water; granted: the fuse;
she locates the blockage, punches a hole through -- HE: from the
side now/rejamming fingers -- SHE: might collapse, instead rips
OR: sensation left her legs, she quick
seized with teeth
and, as he dies, gives in to her own pain
cleanses herself, leaves the girl in
better hands
Oh, but she'd observed J's tongue then (nothing stops that)
pickling inside
And asked how such a sight
ever arranged
Softening
Sheila, post-Shipwreck
becoming a prow
(or sacrifice)
cut the ropes/ not their daughter.
How her grip weakens
How her grip weakens Dad's legs ...
Cut the cord!
Beth, impulsively hid in the well
while the virus instructs
these mad couplings
(bottomless with trolleys)
(past - the beastly disease that claims
and mom-as-illustration
on fours beside the diagram
obeys, next
bubbles
feet first in hunger.
EVEN SO
On both sides, in the spiritual way,
as said, the breasts were props.
TIME TRIP
Scene I:
Sheila:(in the violator's head
meaning reptilian, slinky.)
You fail! (aside) before being given much chance.
(Raises whips.)
J.:(gets in line with the other hooded forms).
Waits for DOOMSDAY
(Sobs, soft.)
Doesn't think twice. Done thinking.
Sheila: And now that we're happy, totally, whadda we do now?
Johnny: Take a vacation?
(II: Pretty desert)
The trysting tree trysts. The trysting tree cleaves, and all the rest
oozes. Sequence of toasts and splashings. A shadow falls.
(II a.: "The Dawn".)
Land of Our Forebears, but do-able.
Several of Sheila's past lives Enter and Exit. She salutes.
Sheila as ancient cult figure; stuck. Johnny pulls her out,
physically, as from quicksand.
Snapshots: Johnny-as-captain.
Johnny-as-cameraman.
Sheila in onepiece. Sheila in garters. Sheila in
chains. The legs open. Morsels.
Sheila: (plaintive). Scratch me! No, lower (more plaintively). Ah!
(Trecks across time.)
(Memories from opera plots.)
(A flurry of postcards.)
Meanwhile, in their dreams, and when they're meditating, the
tragedies tune
in, i.e.,
a Marketplace for Sacrifices
(Gags one sister while mincing up the other.)
SEE EVE DROOL BLOOD!
Guess which the droopy servant offers next on her tray --
What were the leftovers before?
(as backdrop) Sheila: Where's the welcome crew?
Johnny: Oh, shut up.
(Quibbles and Old Abuse.)
Later Sheila (reviving) forages for miracles.
Return to Scene I.
Copyright © 1995 Stacy Doris
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