Doug Nufer
from Never Again
Eightballing lawyer holds court, recollects Baby-breaking Boa Case.
Dateline: moving day, Anytown, USA. Six-foot pet's disappearance
commandeered otherwise-preoccupied movers. Hirelings' herpetophobia,
packbubbled underbrush, time-pressured itinerary mitigated against searched
thoroughness. Rushed exiters haphazardously canvassed crannies, attic,
cellar, closets, snake-friendly nooks. Cage-slipping reptile unfound,
decampers relocated. Newlyweds arrived. Dreamhoused copulations eventually
impregnated wife, engineered nightmarish litigations outgrowing embrangled
sequence ensuing classic catastrophe: hugely pregnant woman putters happily
stirring soup, whereupon fumely resuscitated appetites release ceiling light's
encircler. Kerplop! Divebombing serpent causes miscarriage.
Dentist antes laughing-gas chippie. Erotic entrepreneur hygienist
nocturnally assignated patients desiring kinky dental care. Latexed
fingertips, tightfit nurse's microskirt, sterile aromatics, pain-inducing
instruments' latently sexualized perversions teased uptight jisms regular
humping wouldn't unleash. Semi-actual dentifriciality buffed enamels, flossed
molar pockets (S/Mers requested unnovocained drillwork, tartar pick-axing).
Oral healthcare foreplay fulfilled hyperimaginers; unfulfilled, groin-oriented
ejaculators craved hygienist's labial stimulation. Full-service dentistry
enscrewed, sucked-off nitrous oxide . . . fellated wangs gone limp (drugged
ennui taking evermore deeply breathed inspirations). Sucks overtook sniffs.
Voracities sapped anesthetic's supply, hooker's vigor.
Inevitably, once-tidy arrangements slopped unhideable obviousness.
DEA's monitors routinely checking pharmaceutical depletions implicating
notorious pleasure-enhancement substances saw poolroom DDS's joy-gas tanklevel
discrepancies linking gas expenditure/ nonexistent surgeries. Hypothetical
root-canalwork, unhypothetically, tackled g-spot assistant. Gastank's only
co-operator admitted, repented; solicited restitution.
Copyright © 1996 Doug Nufer
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