Couples are everywhere. Most adults are either paired with another or
searching for a partner. We humans generally seem to value the special
emotional bond and the shared companionship promised by joining another in
the journey through life. Though not a requirement for survival,
nor an exclusive pathway to emotional fulfillment and health, the
experience is one that many find both comforting and enriching. Though you cannot simply will such
a relationship into existence without a cooperating partner, you can decide to
be emotionally and physically available for one.
Emotional attachment is crucial in the early stages of an individual's development. The lack of such connection is painfully felt throughout life as loneliness. Even those who are paired, or surrounded by a caring social network, can feel lonely. Loneliness corresponds to perceptions of not being accepted, understood and/or valued by others. Such perceptions may or may not match reality.
People bond in friendship, lust, love, and dependence. People bond in trust or in fear. People can remain committed to one another without joy, or share joy without commitment. There are many facets to becoming "a couple." Some couples are successful at balancing individual growth with the mutual enhancement that comes from emotional sharing. Others cling painfully to scripts and rituals which are the imagined price of maintaining an association.
The wonderful elixirs of love and passion can be overpowered by unwanted conflicts, or sapped by emotional distance. Though couples often promise themselves long-lasting fondness and fidelity, partners can find themselves horrified by an unexplained decay of the very ties each once deeply valued. Tools for conflict resolution are important for preserving any union. Understanding some of the ingredients of emotional intimacy and the requirements for maintaining a mutually desirable union, can be an important step towards finding and keeping an enduring love.